So this is what it’s like

I’ve been slack in my updates… but with good reason. You see, instead of writing a blog, I’ve been writing a book. The first of three actually–a trilogy of children’s books in the works. And I’ll be self-publishing… sooner than I had been expecting. Apparently it’s unusual that I write what I say I’m going to write–not for me, mind you, but for some other writers.

I love the idea of all of this, but it’s officially reached the terrifying stage. I now have to give pieces of my book away. Editors and illustrators will make changes, additions, whatever is needed. And the only control I have is over who might be doing the editing and illustrating.

Which brings me to terrifying bit #2… I have yet to find an editor or an illustrator. Sure, R is doing a round of editing, and he knows what he’s doing. However, he’s been talking through the book with me, so in a way he knows too much to be confused by anything that may have been missing. I need shiny new editors… and among them, I need some 8-10 year olds to read the thing.

I’ve started the hunt for illustrators, but it’s not going as well as I’d hoped. OK, that’s not true. It’s not going as fast as I’d hoped. When they were handing out the virtues, I skipped the line for Patience.

Alas.

So, if there are any editors or illustrators out there… and you know who you are… drop me a line please.

Cheers.

Two outta three…

Much to my chagrin I haven’t finished the article, and it looks like I won’t be able to. Did you know that sometimes you’re expected to actually work when you’re employed? A couple of my evenings (and the occasional weekend) have been eaten by work-related things, so I had to let the Mythos dream go.

Alas. I’ll get over it.

In other news, all of my other writing is coming along fine–the lack of a deadline is nice at the moment. I write when the mood strikes, and it’s been striking a lot lately.

My latest piece started in a confusing place–well, for me anyway. Somehow, I’ve started writing about faith, religion, and God. I’m not sure what may come of this story, but for the moment I’m just letting the words out of my brain and onto the page. That’s right, the page… it’s yet another project I’ve actually been writing rather than typing. That’ll have to change soon–editing is far easier when I can move text around without tearing out pages–but for now I get to feel the smoothness of a pen on a page. I can touch and smell the paper.

I’m sure I had more to say when I started, but the rest has vanished in a puff of smoke.

Two down, one to go

NaNoWriMo novel done!  OK, not done exactly, but I’ve crossed the coveted 50,000 words mark, so I may have to put it aside for a couple of weeks and take a breather. Except it’s still in my head, so I’ll keep going–but with less of that “ohmygodohmygodohmygod” feeling. Yay!

Short story done and sumbitted! This is weird for me–it’s the first time I’ve submitted anything. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m trying not to get all wrapped up in it. Mid-February, I’ll know either way. Of course I hope to hear that I won and I’ll be published… but I can’t let it get to me if I don’t. I just have to keep writing.

Article not yet done. I’m getting there, but I’m hitting a snag. I’m not blocked or anything, but I’m taking a few days to really solidify what I’d like to say. I have a couple of weeks… let’s see what I get!

Bombarded by words

First things first, I’m behind on my NaNoWriMo novel. This feels icky, I must say, and I hope to rectify the issue as soon as possible. I have some vacation time coming up (for just such an occasion) so I’ll be writing an awful lot. Until then, I have to sneak in bits and pieces around family, friends, work, and (though I may hate to admit it) NCIS reruns. I can’t help it, that show is addictive.

However, all is not lost. I’m still working on the novel, just more slowly than I’d hoped and planned. That all sounds great, right? I’m a bit behind, but there’s plenty of time to catch up… I’m not even at the halfway point… time enough for all.

Um no.

I also have a December 10 submission deadline on an essay of 1500-7000 words – the ideas are there, but the words are still only in my head. Alas. I’ll get it written, hopefully on time.

Oh yeah, and I have a December 1 submission deadline (yup, the day after NaNoWriMo ends) for a short story contest. And they’re pretty serious about the ‘short’ in short story – only 1500 words (including the title) or they toss it. At least short may take less time to write…. right?

I keep hearing that when it rains, it pours… and I now have a whole new understanding of that phrase. It’s raining words and letters at me from all directions. For the most part, it’s a soft tingly feeling that reminds me that the words are everywhere. They fall in gentle heaps around me, and cushion my steps – just enough that I never feel alone.

But occasionally I get hit by a capital X, and those things hurt. They’re like shurikens.

Sunday Sunday Sunday!

NaNoWriMo starts Sunday. I was all set to do this, and now I’m starting to waffle. I already have several project in progress and I don’t want to put them on hold for 30 days while I work on yet another novel, but I may not have a choice. Well, I do have a choice… to skip NaNoWriMo this year.

I’m actually considering taking the Chosen Book (at least the current one) and starting over on November 1. I can use the first bit I already have as an outline, the sketch for the setup, and then just dive in from scratch. Get the wordy juices flowin’ or something. Yes, I said ‘wordy juices’ and you’re just going to have to accept that.

I’m not panicky about writing, but I find myself questioning my abilities, my voice, my grammar, my everything. The icky part is that I haven’t even started NaNoWriMo yet… what am I gonna be like by the end of the month? Sheesh.

50,000+ words closer to a finished product… that’s what I’ll be. I’ll be one full draft closer to finished with the second book I hope to get out into the hands of agents and publishers by the end of 2010. Wow, I’ve never just put it into words like that… not with a deadline. One childrens book is complete (in the hand of a few people to read and let me know what they think, but complete) and the novel is underway.

So, hopefully I’ll be sending out a query letter in the winter (hopefully only one, but who am I kidding), and then another (for the not-so-childrens book) by the end of 2010. That feels like a really long time off, but it’ll be here sooner than I’m ready to face just yet.

Three days and counting… NaNoWriMo here I come.

Always beginning, never finishing

I’ve started several new stories recently – I’m not 100% sure what might be a novel or short story in the making… or something in between. But now I’m starting the difficult and frightening search for an agent. I suppose I should first determine if I want to contact publishers directly, or maybe even self-publish, but I’m fairly sure that and agent is the way to go – if I find one who wants me… and who I want to work with.

This is the Big Scary Step – send out query letters and writing samples and hope beyond hope that someone writes back.

I believe I’m a good writer. I also believe I can grow to be a great writer, but I can’t do that without honest, professional feedback. There’s a big difference between your friends liking your work and a professional telling you you’re worth something.

The latest project is sort of writing itself, so I’m hoping… no, not hoping. I have decided that this will be the book I finish first. It’s not the pet project – that one can sit on the back burner for a while until inspiration brings me back. Instead, this is the book that’s flowing now, and I think I can do this.

Now, let’s see if a professional literary agent agrees with me.

little known facts

Did you know…

that when you spend all of your time working on books and short stories and things, you actually forget to update your blog?

Eerie….

I give myself such very good advice

For those of you about to say some variation of “I told you so,” I admit it, you were right.  When other people complain that they can’t get started writing their Great American Novels, I recommend that they try writing a little something every day – a short scene, a description, maybe a snippet of conversation.  From there, I tell them, you can get used to writing, and you’ll write.

Did you know that it’s possible to take your own advice?  When I get stuck, I normally try to write something else – one of the ghost-writing projects, or something else – but it feels like a Big Writing Project and then it becomes an intimidating venture.  A paragraph describing the shadows under the leaves of the potted plant on my mantel, however, is most emphatically not a Project, nor a venture of any kind.  It’s a paragraph.  Anyone can write a paragraph.  OK, except the illiterate, but let’s not get hung up on semantics here.

And apparently, when you write a paragraph, you get used to writing.  And then… then you write the entire intro to a piece for someone else, and make some major headway on your novel (which I don’t need to capitalize because it’s not a Great American Novel, mostly because I’m not originally American).

So anyway, to those of you who repeated my advice back to me, I really do appreciate it.  Until I become independently wealthy thereby joining the ranks of the idle rich, I still have to fit the writing in around other things in my life – like my job for instance (I keep waiting for the Lottery Fairy, but I think that my plan is lacking, seeing as I don’t buy tickets).  However, these moments of revitalization really do help.  Watching the pages of a notepad fill up or seeing the page count on your Word doc climb higher and higher can really make your day.  Well, they make my day – I don’t know about you.

Boo! I’m a scary ghost!

I’ve been facing a great deal of writers’ block.  Actually, that’s not the case… writing hasn’t been a problem at all.  The ideas on the other hand, have gotten to annoy me.   I used to feel passionate about what I wanted to say, but I’m currently a bit stuck in the things I’ve been writing, and none of my other ideas are formed enough for words quite yet.

To save myself from falling into a wordless swirling pit of heck, I’ve decided to take on a few ghost-writing options.  Maybe ghost-editing and ghost-contributing.  I wonder what other skills ghosts have… maybe I can be a ghost-carpenter or something.  But for now, it’s writing.

Several people – you know who you are – have asked me for help with writing projects over the not-too-distant past.  Editing novels-in-progress, adding flavor text to their games, collaborating on short stories… it all seems interesting, but now I have to decide where I can commit.  I mean actually commit – not write four pages and then stop when I get distracted by a bright shiny object.

The novels should be a breeze… that’s just editing and tweaking – sure they take work, but not nearly as much as creating from scratch.  For the games… first I have to make sure I keep them separate.  That involves keeping records, which makes it sound like work. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be able to do it, but record-keeping sounds like no fun at all.  Then again, I s’pose it’s necessary.  Then come the ghost-writing bits… and those really interest me.  I’m not sure how it will all work out, but for now I’ve got some free reign to start on a few, so I’ll dive in and see what the idea people think.

And then there’s NaNoWriMo.  I’ve done it most years – though 2007 didn’t end well from a let’s-write-a-novel perspective… mainly because at the end of November I had not, in fact, written a novel.  This year I can accomplish that part – I hope – but I’m resistant to writing the same novel again.  Seriously – how many drafts do I need?  So maybe I’ll try another idea – take a short story and see where it leads, start with a character and figure out how he reacts to Plot, start with a butterfly beating it’s wings and follow the chain of events around the world… whatever.  Maybe it’s time to take the drafts and turn them into something… and maybe I can start now instead of November.  Or – let’s face it – December 1st.  Ghost-write my way through October, NaNoWriMo through November, and then get down to work.

Hey, it’s a dream.  Don’t knock it.

To write, perchance to dream…

I miss the words.  I’ve given myself countless excuses, countless teeny tiny oh-so-relevant reasons to stall, to hide, to stop myself.  No one wants to read my words… I’m not good enough to matter… my ideas are trite… whatever.  It’s so easy to stop.  It’s so easy to decide it’s not worth it.

But then I remember how much it hurts to stop writing.  The words pile up in my head… phrases and ideas run around in there until one of them escapes and runs down my arm, eventually shooting through my fingers onto the page.  Or the screen.  Or the back of a receipt.  If I don’t give the words a way out, they just keep running around in there, in my head, and the pressure builds.  They get jumbled and tumbled together until I can’t separate them from each other or from everything else going on in the world.

When that happens, it gets harder to pull them apart, to give them a chance to live.

I hadn’t written anything in ages – so long that re-reading my drafts surprised me.  And then I remembered, the only way to stop the jumble in my head is to let it out.  It was only a couple of thousand words – just a few pages really – but I remembered.  I remembered why I can’t stop writing.  I don’t do it to please anyone.  I don’t do it to make an impression on the world.  I don’t do it to get published – though that wouldn’t suck.

I do it… because I am compelled.